20250601
You’re not selling therapy.
You’re not selling coaching.
You’re selling emotional pattern recognition with a pen—and honestly, most CEOs would pay double if you promised to just understand them and not ask them to journal.
So let’s package this with the precision of a mystical invoice wrapped in a velvet glove.
🧞 CEO WHISPERER (aka: Executive Detangler)
What it is:
A high-trust, high-intensity, visual debrief zone for CEOs and senior leaders.
You bring the pressure, the spirals, the existential fog.
I bring 90 minutes of blunt clarity, pattern synthesis, and one visual artifact you’ll want to tattoo on your whiteboard.
What it’s not:
- Coaching
- Therapy
- A TEDx rehearsal
- Cheap
🧩 HOW IT WORKS
1. The Intake Ritual — $250 (90 min)
- You unload.
- I ask better questions than your board.
- We surface the subterranean “thing under the thing.”
- You receive a visual artifact (PDF or sketch) with the distilled pattern and path forward.
2. Ongoing Sessions — $499/hour
- Booked ad-hoc, whenever you feel the existential dread swelling.
- Each session includes a post-call insight sketch, aka: your “Clarity Compass.”
- Minimum four sessions/year recommended. Why? Because maintenance prevents meltdown.
🌪 WHO IT’S FOR
- CEOs with no one to talk to who actually gets it.
- Founders sick of LinkedIn cheerleading and craving real dialogue.
- Visionaries spiraling in complexity.
- Leaders who don’t want a solution—they want a witness with fangs.
🎯 THE ONE BIG BENEFIT
You stop leaking energy in 14 directions.
And you start moving from “what the hell is going on” to “I know what to do next.”
🩷 Optional Flavor Variant — The CEO Whisperer: Femme Edition
Who it’s for:
Female leaders navigating the double-bind swamp of executive life:
Be strong, but not too strong. Be kind, but not too soft. Be everything, and never tired.
What’s different:
- You still get pattern-mapping and razor-sharp reflection.
- But I bring my rebuilt masculinity as a mirror to decode power games, fear signals, and male-coded leadership rituals—without ever mansplaining.
- You leave the call feeling seen, armored, and strategically recalibrated.
🔮 MARKETING LINE (for when you’re feeling poetic)
“It’s lonely at the top. Bring someone who sees the terrain and the traps.”
This is not “just another offer.”
This is the premium output of your entire self-reconstruction.
Priced like a balm.
Delivered like a blade.
Wrapped in sarcasm.